Collision
by HowStellaGotHerMojoBack
Summary: Maureen somehow drags Joanne along to a witchery convention, and they get thrown into a portal, where they land in a fairytale world as animated cartoons and meet the king and queen on the kingdom of Andalasia, Edward and Nancy. Drama ensues. MAJOR FLUFF.


The line that lead to the entrance of the Witchery Convention moved slowly, but surely. Maureen and Joanne were close to entrance, but still far enough to wait about another hour in line.

" This is taking so long!" Maureen whined, bouncing up and down like a child throwing a tantrum.

" When is it our turn?"

" _I don't know_! And _you _chose to do this, so this is your fault… we could've been at home cuddling, or even better, having sex, but 'no, Pookie! I wanna go to the Witchery Convention to support Wicked!'" Joanne said, just as annoyed that they had been standing in line for nearly two hours.

" Shut up," Maureen muttered. " You didn't even have the heart to wear a costume for your girlfriend."

" Maureen, it is as simple as this— I _am not _going to dress up like a witch just because you want me to," Joanne stayed firmly.

Maureen grunted. " Because I'm not important enough."

" I never said that, I—"

Maureen cut Joanne off by blowing raspberry at her with her tongue. Joanne wiped the spit drops off of her face in disgust,

" You are… _revolting._"

"'Oh, I'm Joanne, and I use big, fancy words to insult my girlfriend!'" Maureen mocked Joanne, making stupid gestures with her hands to try and prove a point. " And since when do you care if my spit is on you?! Because last night, you sure didn't mind my tongue being in your—"

Joanne covered Maureen's mouth with her hand before she could continue. People were glancing back at them from the front of the line, and Joanne flushed as embarassment took her over.

" _Shut. Up_," Joanne said quietly but strictly.

After an hour more of standing on line, they were finally at the front. They gave in their tickets, but the man taking the tickets stopped them. " No costume, no convention."

Maureen narrowed her eyes at the man in an intimidating way. " Pardon?"

" No costume, no convention, lady… oh wait, I'm sorry, I know a lot of the queers don't like being called lady— dyke, " the man said.

Maureen faked a smile, to hide her annoyance and urge to punch the man. " Well, I'm sure you wouldn't like it if I told everyone here that you were a homophobic, because, well… no customers, no kerching-kerching."

The man froze, obviously not expecting Maureen's smartass reply.

Joanne smirked. Maureen always went into protection mode for her, which she adored. Maureen didn't always show it, but she cared for Joanne a lot, maybe _too _much, and when someone felt like being an ass and calling Joanne a name, Maureen always defended her, and that was just one of the many reasons Joanne loved Maureen.

Also, when Maureen was in protection mode, she looked extra sexy. She was very edgy, so her muscles were more visible and her jaw was clenched, so it looked a lot sharper, and if she ever got into a fight, Joanne didn't like the fact Maureen was feeling pain, but she loved cleaning her up and coddling her like a baby after.

" So, you gonna make this easy or hard?" Maureen asked, grabbing Joanne's hand possesively and wrapping an arm around her waist to bother the obvious homophobe.

" Hey, what's the hold up?!" a man in the line yelled, and a few people agreed.

Maureen quirked an eyebrow. " The people are beginning to get angry. I'm sure a little pussy like you doesn't like angry people yelling at him, now do you?"

The man pushed open the gate with a glare towards Maureen.

" Well, thank you, kind sir," Maureen said, and led Joanne inside.

When they got inside, Joanne stopped Maureen.

" Thanks honeybear, for making that guy let me in."

" Well, I wasn't going to go in without you, and I knew _for a fact _that I was going in, so… no need to thank me," Maureen said with a genuine smile.

Joanne held both of Maureen's hands in her own, where they were by her chest. Maureen turned her head and saw a big tent, that on the top said " I'll tell you your future!"

" Let's go in there," Maureen said, pointing to the tent.

" One second," Joanne said, and put a hand on Maureen's jawline, turning Maureen's head towards her and kissing her tenderly.

" Or we can do this," Maureen said, getting lost in Joanne's soft kiss and her usual taste of a mixture of green apple and grape.

" Woo-woo!" a group of men hooted for them, wolf-whistles in the mix.

Joanne pulled away slightly, blushing as the same group of men passed by them with smirks. " Okay, we can go now."

Maureen smiled, and held out her arm for Joanne, which she hooked with hers. " Lead the way, malady."

Joanne smirked, and they walked towards the tent, arm in arm.

Maureen pushed away the fabric that was supposed to be a door, and saw a woman with scarf-like material wrapped around her hair that seemed to be put up in the direct center of her head.

There was a crystal ball on the table that the woman sat in front of, her eyes closed and her fingers entwined together on the table in front of her. Her eyes slowly opened when she heard the shuffling that Maureen and Joanne made when coming into the tent.

The woman seemed to ignore them, being how she saw the two women, and then closed her eyes again.

" Um, hello?" Maureen asked, walking deeper into the tent and closer to the woman and Joanne followed behind her, holding onto her hand.

" Name," the woman demanded, not in a mean way exactly, but more in a way that showed she wanted Maureen's name right then, but she still was respectful about it.

" Um, Maureen Johnson, and Joanne Jefferson," Maureen said, and they stood on the other side of the round table, examining the woman.

She had black, tattooed eyebrows, that had very high, accentuated arches. Her eyeshadow was a dark purple with a mix of red, and her lips that were a dark, mischevious type of red that had very sharp curves. The clothes she wore were purple, and had leopard print patterns mixed with flowers and zebra stripes of all all colors.

_Extremely tacky._

" Eh-sit," the woman said, still not opening her eyes but signaling to the two chairs that were now in front of Maureen and Joanne with a snap of the woman's fingers.

Maureen jumped when the chair appeared. " Ahh!… what the hell?… h-how'd you do that?"

The woman opened her eyes, that were surprisingly a bright purple. They were absolutely stunning, with specks of blue here and there and a light, baby blue around her pupils. " Eh' magician never reveals their eh-secrets, mi amor," the woman said, a thick Spanish accent floating through the air,

" Please, eh-sit."

Maureen and Joanne sat, and the woman took one of their hands in each of her hands. " Very eh-beautiful women you two are."

" … gracias?" Maureen said, and the woman chuckled a surprisingly deep chuckle.

" I eh-speak the ee-nglish, mi amor," she stated.

Maureen nodded. " Okay."

The woman looked at Joanne. " Not mooch of a talker, correcto?"

" Um… your eyes are beautiful," Joanne blurted out.

Maureen looked at Joanne expectantly, jealousy building in her. " Excuse me? Girlfriend here."

" Ah, the lesbians. I haven't met many, but I eh-hear they are the best type of eh-people."

Joanne and Maureen both smiled at this. " Thanks," they said in unison.

The woman smirked. " Let the eh-future-telling begin?"

Maureen and Joanne nodded.

" Okay, eh-close your eyes… eh-picture everything I'm about to eh-tell you, okay?" the woman said, and Maureen and Joanne followed their directions.

" I eh-see pain for you two. You two will be eh-sent to another land. Eh' magical land. Eh' big argument that will occur in that land will eh-lead to being eh-seperated for eh' little. In this magical land, you will eh-meet new friends, whose eh-names will be Nancy and Edward. You, Joanne, will eh-fall in love with Nancy, but still love Maureen at the eh-same time, and then you will eh-kiss Nancy—"

" This is bullshit. Joanne wouldn't do that. We're out," Maureen said angrily, harshly letting go of the fortune-teller's hand.

" Maureen, beware, not listening to your eh-complete fate is eh-bad luck," the woman said in a warming tone.

" Fuck that. Joanne, let's go," Maureen commanded, ready to leave, until Joanne didn't move. " Joanne? Hello?"

" I wanna hear her fortune. I wanna see what's gonna happen," Joanne said quietly.

" Eh-wise one here," the woman said, and Maureen shot her death daggers.

" Joanne, you wanna hear her talk about you cheating on me?" Maureen asked.

" Well, no, but I just wanna see what's gonna happen…" Joanne said.

Maureen stared at Joanne. " Fine, then. Stay here, listening to this bull crap from this crazy lady."

" Maureen, please just listen. She made a chair randomly appear— that's magic," Joanne claimed.

" Since when do you believe in magic?" Maureen asked in shock.

" Well… since now," Joanne said. " Please, just listen to her."

Maureen sighed. " Fine. But hurry up, crazy lady."

" Your weesh es mi comando," the woman said.

" You must return to your eh-seat."

Maureen rolled her eyes, but sat back down next to Joanne. The lady took her hand and closed her eyes again. " As I was eh-saying… Joanne will eh-kiss Nancy, and Maureen will find out. This is why you will be eh-separated for eh' leetle. But then, Joanne will be eh-kidnapped, and put under eh' spell that will make Joanne be in eh' deep, eh-deep sleep. The only way to eh-wake Joanne will be with eh-true eh-love's kiss. And now, I cannot eh-tell you more, or else you will eh-change the future, and the whole eh-timeline will be eh-ruined… follow me, eh-ladies."

The woman stood up, and held open the fabric that led to another tent that was connected to the tent they were already in.

" What is in there?" Joanne asked and she and Maureen stood, slowly walking towards the tent.

" It's eh' wishing well, since your eh-fates weren't exactly the best. More eh-bad things will happen to you, and even though in the end, you'll get eh' happy ending, you have to eh-go through a lot before. I eh-pity you, so I will allow you eh-both to make a weesh," the woman explained, and stood behind Maureen and Joanne.

Maureen went first. _I wish that Joanne doesn't cheat on—_

The woman suddenly pushed Maureen into the well, which looked like it was a foot deep, but was actually some type of portal. Maureen's loud screams echoed through the tent until they weren't heard anymore.

Joanne looked at the woman. " What?! Where did she go—"

The woman didn't hesitate to push Joanne in either, and when she did, Joanne fell too, her screams just as loud and scared as Maureen's.

Suddenly, Maureen and Joanne were in the same blue void, that looked like the Milky Way, except it was… blue.

Very shiny, almost blinding sparks of what seemed like dust flew around Maureen and Joanne.

" WHERE ARE WE?! OH MY GOD, WE JUST GOT PUSHED INTO A FOUNTAIN, AND NOW WE'RE GONNA DIE, AND-AND— JOANE, I'M TOO PRETTY TO DIE," Maureen whined, beginning to cry. " It has been so amazing having someone like you as a partner all these years, and know that I love you. With all my hear—"

Maureen stopped speaking when a spark touched her, and kind of like stayed in her skin. " What the

fu—"

The same thing happened to Joanne, and slowly, more sparks kept on hitting them, until they were covered in sparks and were just blobs giving light in the void.

And suddenly, both of them flew around like they had malfunctioning jet packs on, and then they were in some place that looked like… a Disney movie.


End file.
